Whyyyyyyyy

Well reading through my old blogs and wishing that I had stayed on track. God only knows where I could be. I had lost about 40 lbs by the looks of it and sadly I have just about gained it all back. I am currently 5 pounds away from where I was when I first started this journey back in 2012. I am trying to not be angry and upset with myself for doing it yet again. It really is hard though. To fall right back to where I was. I got careless and didn’t rein it in until it was too late. Anyways enough of the blame game, time to get back into the saddle and ride on. On to green tea, exercising and watching intake.

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Getting back

Where has the time gone. I can’t believe that its been this long since writing. I need to get better at keeping up with my journal since it keeps me on track. It has just been a roller coaster for the past couple months. I have still lost some but not where I should/could probably be. I did hit another mini goal and was able to get into the 230’s giving me a total loss of 39.5 lbs! I do realize that I am only .5 into the 230’s and it could change tomorrow at weigh in, BUT none the less I saw it on the scale and I am still pleased. It is amazing to feel that I am closer to 200 then I am to 300. I can’t believe there was a time that I was that close, 21 pounds away from 300! Soo scary. So I am trying to rally myself and get back on track and just keeping chipping away to my goal.
Little by little, day by day. I am trying to be gentle with myself and really figure out what all these struggles mean. Find new ways to deal with the downs instead of running to food. I need to revamp some things so I can break from the habits that still haunt me. I would love to think I had better control on my food demons but I am realizing that I don’t 😦 How do you guys stay on track? Not give in to tempations?

weight-loss-motivation

Ask and you shall receive

So I am pretty excited, there are a couple of things that I have wanted and they have shown up in my life. I have wanted a Fit Bit / BodyBugg for a while now, but they are so expensive. One day I received an email from someone from Slim Kicker and they were looking for potential people to evaluate their calorie/fitness tracker they are hoping to release early next year. I am so excited and look forward to the chance to evaluate it. I just signed up on the website, slimkicker.com,  to get an account and it seems like a really neat website. Place to track food and exercise and meet other people on this wonderful journey of weight loss. They also offer challenges that you can participate in and helps earn points towards a reward that you set up. I like it, just have to think of my reward now, like maybe that new pair of sneakers I have had my eyes on.

Other thing that I was hoping for was the information on the new program through Weight Watchers. I have been following the old program, and have done well but I wanted to try out the new program. Well I got a call from my aunt and she had got a bag of the new program information. I was pleased thinking oh I will get info and such but when I got the bag today I was beyond excited…it came with the Points Plus calculator as well!! I am in heaven. I have the calculator for the old one and have loved it, but now I have it for the new one. Thank you!!!

I am also so very grateful for all the wonderful people who are posting their stories on here as well. I have been having a rough couple of weeks getting back on track and reading all of your blogs are helping me. To read of your triumphs and bumps, helps me to refocus. I don’t feel so alone on this journey, I know that you guys are just a couple clicks away. It also helps to know that my struggles are the same as some of yours, that everyone has bumps in their road. I do not need to beat myself up and throw in the towel. It is all a part of the journey. Just keep getting up no matter how many times I fall down.  No matter what I do, it is getting me closer to my goal then doing nothing.

So a huge THANK YOU to the universe for allowing me a chance for my fitness tracker, Plus Points information and all of you wonderful people sharing your journeys. I am forever grateful 🙂

A little rant and rave…

Ever have those days where one day you feel so great, fitting into clothes you have not been able to wear and you see your “bulge” getting smaller than the next day you feel like you were at the beginning, a busted can of biscuits? I know that a weight loss journey is not a piece of cake, yum how I wish it was, and that it is going to take hard work and sweat. There are just days that I find it really hard to stay on track. Well I guess I should say certain weeks, not just days.

I dread tomorrows weigh in because I have been struggling past week and a half and I am uncertain where that will leave me on the scale. I should be grateful I am not on a huge scale in front of America I suppose. About a week and half ago there was one day that I was just so frustrated I didn’t count for the day. I did put in down in my food journal just out of curiosity but did not use it towards my weekly points. I didn’t care, I just wanted a non restricted day. I am surprised and relieved that I did ok, not like I went out and ate a whole cake or anything, Then about a week after that my baby sister sprained her foot in a Rugby game (an amazing game if you ask me) and was struggling at school so I went and stayed a couple of days to help her out. I had every intention on being good, even paid extra for microwave and fridge to get my own meals. I was ok for the most part, the last night not so much. We ordered a pizza and bread sticks with cola 😦 Icky. I hadn’t drunk soda forever, and the pizza was exceptionally greasy. I regretted it the moment it passed my lips. Oh well, life goes on. I was beyond shocked and excited to see though that I hit one of my mini goals for that week when I returned home. I wanted to break past 250 and I did, 249.5, which is now only 2 pounds away from my first 10%!!. I have no idea how but I did. Unfortunately I think the past week and a “certain visitor” coming around I will be back to 250+. I am really hoping maybe just at 250, 250.5 and not a huge amount, but we shall see tomorrow. I know I am only talking about a half of pound to full pound (hopefully) BUT it still feels like a huge gain. Why is that?

I have realized I really need to search different foods and find new motivation. I feel like I am beginning to stall out and that I would rather eat a container of ice cream and a chunk of cake then continue on. I am praying it is all those dreaded “hormones” talking but some days it seems too hard. I have been lax the past couple of weeks and I am worried if I do not tighten up the reins soon, I will lose it all together. I CAN NOT DO THAT!! I WON’T DO THAT!! I am 70-80 pounds away from goal…I remember when I realized I had to lose over 110 pounds to goal. That is a whole person. How am I carrying that around?!

Ok so I must turn this around, refocus on why I want to lose weight and keep my eye on the ball. Work on getting out of this rut. Need to get strong especially after my mother already brought up a dreaded reminder….THANKSGIVING. I am extremely grateful she is going to help me stay on track but I would be lying if I didn’t say I was a little fearful of that day. How do  you guys stay strong and focused on those holidays surrounded by yummy foods? May we all be strong this holiday season and come out victorious!!!

Well I surprisingly feel better after getting that out, there is something to this whole journal thing. Ahhh, now to find new, inspiring blogs to read and get that board out and work on it.

Found this and thought it was perfect for me today:

Where did the time go?

I can’t believe I have not been here to post for a while, July 30th was my last one. So much for blogging continually through out my journey. Lol. Well I am happy to say even though my blogging has taken a back seat, my weight loss has not. I am down 23 pounds and look forward to tomorrows way in. I have been able to say no in some icky situations and stay on track. Even though it stinks to say no to going out to eat with friends and family, I know it will be well worth it in the end. Yes I would love to have more pounds off, but I also know it didn’t go on over night. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it. I am working on a weight loss bucket list, hoping that and the poster I want to put together will keep me going. There have been a few days I’ve wanted to throw in the towel, but luckily I have great support and there are so many people who are motivating so it keeps me on track and I don’t feel so alone. I just keep envisioning the day I can look back at what I accomplished and be so proud that I did it, I am going to be a healthier person and enjoy living instead of watching it pass by. To be able to step off the plane and see my friends and show myself off 😉 I am not one that likes to be the center, but with this I am so excited to show off. If I can help inspire someone else to lose weight that would be a great feeling. Help others as I have been helped by so many amazing people.

Since I have not posted for a while, I also can say that I am working again!! Yahoo. Feels so amazing to be collecting a pay check and feel like part of life again. I may not like getting up at 5 am, but it is worth it once I get to work. I didn’t get the position I wanted, but I am at the facility I wanted. It is an assisted living facility and I have enjoyed it. There have been a few bumps in the learning curve, but I just try to laugh at it and say I am that much more prepared. 🙂 The residents are great, they are so adorable. It is funny how some of them do remind me of working with kids. I love just talking to them and listening to their stories. They have helped me realize that life is short and you got to make it count.

I try on days off to go to a new place, or to a place where I haven’t been in a long time. Rediscovering this wonderful state of Maine that I took for granted. I should have gone today since it was a beautiful fall day, but I did some cleaning and relaxing. This morning I got up early and headed out to Fort Williams for sunrise. So beautiful and peaceful! I downloaded the pictures from today and a trip my mom and I took the other day. There were a couple of pictures that I was quite surprised with how they came out, so beautiful. I look forward to taking a class and brushing up on my photos. I would love to do that as a very small side thing. There is something about being behind the camera I love.

Well I must go continue to work on the things I want to finish so I can get back to enjoying the outside before winter comes. To posting more blogs on this journey and to an amazing weigh in tomorrow morning. Cheers.

Splash of Color

Well here we are again, Monday Monday. I was a little worried not much would happen today in the way of exercise since I was having one of those days. I am glad to say though that I went on a 25 minute bike ride and did about 40 minutes of yoga. 🙂 I may have not biked a marathon but I am glad to say that I did something, every bit helps. I need to keep at this because I want to get in shape so I can do the “Color Run” with my sister. She went to Boston to do it this weekend. It is a 5k and at every k marker they throw a different color of a chalk like substance on the runners. Talk about fun, raise money for a charity, run and get covered in color. I am very excited to do this. I would also like to do marathons someday. I think it would be such a great feeling to accomplish that, something I have never thought I would be able to do. SO if I can continue with my baby steps now, they will turn into something far greater. A fun, healthier me 🙂 One of my ultimate desires is to hike the Grand Canyon. I realize this is way off, and months and months of preparing but for whatever reason I have had  a big pull towards it for years. That to me would be most amazing. Need to revamp my bucket list for once I lose the weight and can move more.

Well I guess I should go and wrap my nieces present. Hope you have a marvelous night, take care all!!

HOW FUN DOES THIS LOOK?

Its been one week….

Not only is the title inspired by one of my favorite bands, Barenaked Ladies, but I am happy to say I have made it a week blogging. Yeah me! I don’t have much to say today but I wanted to make sure that I got on today to jot something down. Today is just one of those rainy, lazy days. I made it to church this morning and that has been about it. I passed out for about an hour and half later this evening guess my body was just done. For whatever reason I was really hungry today and ended up tapping into my weekly bonus points. I mean no harm they are there for that reason, but I guess I was just shocked. Some days I struggle to eat all my points other days I could eat my arm off if I knew how to calculate that. lol. Well it has been a few days since I threw in a picture so I hope this makes you smile.

Some days I feel that this is me….I need T-Rex to get me going. Oh well we all have our own battles. I am surprised with a few of the stressful days I have had I was still able to stay on track, I am very happy to say. I think my will power has returned. Yahoo!! Another good motivator is:

How true this is, I remember being upset with only one pound victories…but look at that?! That is a lot. So when I feel down I must pull this picture up and be proud of what I did!! Well I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday and a great night, sleep tight!!

Copy and repeat

Ok so toady was a copy of yesterday except we did more trying to help my brother then shopping. I don’t know which is worse. lol. I am VERY happy to say though that I finally found the pan I so desperately wanted! I thought I was going to cry when I found it. So I got the pan, princess sprinkles, wrappers, whisk, spatula and a cute little tote bag for it. I think she should enjoy it, my sister may not. lol. Oh well its all about the kids, right? I am just glad to be done with that.

After waiting to hear from my brother we finally got back to his place to try to help a little more. I am happy to say though that he had a weight machine that does upper and lower and was just going to get rid of it. So happy that I was there cause I was all over that like bees on honey. It is a great machine, and does all that I want. I was going to join gym to get weights since I have cardio all ready so now I can save my $ and still add my weight lifting. I can’t wait to get it set up, I hope it is fairly easy. This will help so much with my goals.

So since the past two days have been crazy busy I was very lazy tonight. After eating and chatting with my sister, I threw in a load of laundry, came upstairs, popped in my chakra cleaning CD and plopped on my bed. Now off to bed so I can be up early tomorrow….ahhh sleep. Well hope everyone has an amazing night 🙂

Shop till you drop

What a day, I am wiped and ready for bed. First off I am a person that dislikes shopping on all levels, so spending most of my day shopping wasn’t fun. Trying to find things for my nieces birthday present. I decided, since she likes to help bake, to get her a 6-cupcake pan and things to go with that. Sad to say after several stores I was unable to find anything like I wanted. Apparently I could only find the 6 jumbo pans not the regular size unless it is the 12. So frustrating because I am unsure what I can do now. Back to the drawing board tomorrow to figure something.

After shopping, we came home for quick dinner before I headed out to help my brother pack up. Man he has a lot of stuff, I don’t know what he will do with it all. For those that helped me in AZ to downsize and pack a huge ‘THANK YOU’!!! I know that it was tough dealing with me and my stuff so I suppose I am paying for that now, lol. Since it was late we only got 2 truck loads dropped off, but I suppose better than nothing. So all I have on my mind now is a hot shower and bed. I will throw on my meditation CD for sleep to help out with a little mind healing since I wasn’t able to get to my yoga 😦 Oh well always tomorrow. Least I moved a lot between shopping and loading up stuff. Its something. Have a great night!!!

Yoga

So today I started my yoga, trying to increase flexibility as well as mind, body healing. I had a former co-worker who was going to school to be a yoga instructor and I don’t know why I didn’t attend more of  her classes. I did a few and felt most amazing after, yet did I continue to go? Well no, why would I do anything that made me feel good. Lol. Oh well. Only thing with following a video is no one is watching you to make sure your form is correct, so here’s to hoping I am not off too bad. I did about 45 minutes between the two. Not to bad for a start. I am definitely far from flexible, sad how tight I am but that would be why my lower back gives me problems. Just keep on track and within time I shall be better. Pretty low-key most of the day so todays post is short and sweet again. 🙂 Have a blessed day!